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"No matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds." ~ Red Skelton

Richard Bernard Skelton was born on July 18, 1913. Celebrate his birthday this month with a special humor activity - using hats.

Props & Preparations

Red Skelton developed several characters over the years, and he used hats to help get into character. Ask the staff to dress up as one of the Red Skelton characters. Also, pass out various Red Skelton hats for the participants to wear. For example:

Freddie Freeloader – a silent tramp in clown makeup with a heart of gold (wore a beat-up old top hat)
Clem Kadiddlehopper – a country bumpkin, slow-witted hayseed (wore a curled up fedora two sizes too small balanced on the top of his head)
Cauliflower McPugg – a punch-drunk boxer (wore a plaid cap)
San Fernando Red – a con man and shady real estate agent (wore a straw hat)
Sheriff Deadeye – an incredibly inept sheriff in the old west (wore an oversized ten-gallon hat)
George Appleby – a perennially henpecked husband who was afraid of his own shadow (wore a derby hat and heavy black-rimmed glasses)
Willie Lump Lump – the drunk (wore a hat with the brim turned down)
Mean Widdle Kid – favorite expression was “I dood it” (wore a graduation cap or a straw hat with a long ribbon)
Gertrude & Heathcliffe – the cross-eyed seagulls, which Red performed by crossing his eyes, sticking his thumbs into his armpits, and flapping his fingers for "wings" (wore a man's dress hat or no hat at all)

Freddie Freeloader	Clem Kadiddlehopper	Cauliflower McPugg
San Fernando Red	Sheriff Deadeye	George Appleby
Mean Widdle Kid	Willie Lump Lump	Gertrude & Heathcliffe

Click HERE and print the pictures above to show your group.

Red Skelton Jokes and Quotes
(Read the following during your activity.)

Red Skelton On Marriage

Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Her bed is in California, and mine is in Texas.

I take my wife everywhere ... but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me "In the lake."

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Other Red Skelton One-liners

I'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up.

Congress: Bingo with billions.

A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school. He said, "I've been going for three months." I said, "How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?" He said, "All of them."

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Exercise? I get in on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Heathcliffe & Gertrude Jokes
(Ask two staff members to read the parts of Gertrude and Heathcliffe. While they are reading, have the residents put their thumbs into their armpits and flap their fingers like "wings." Look cross-eyed, if you can.)

Heathcliffe: Tell me Gertie, What's a polygon?
Gertrude: A polygon is a dead parrot.

Heathcliffe: I heard Peter Rabbit went to the dentist to get a tooth pulled, and they wouldn't give him any novocain.
Gertrude: Because Peter Rabbit is an Ether bunny!

Heathcliffe: You know, I wish I had a bigger bill. I would become a stork, deliver babies and make lots of money.
Gertrude: No, no! Storks deliver babies. Doctors have the big bills.

Gertrude: Well, Heathcliffe, I'm really flying south for the winter. This year I'm going to BVD Islands.
Heathcliffe: What are the BVD Islands?
Gertrude: The West Undies.

Gertrude: With man doing all this flying nowadays, they've stopped wondering about how we do it.
Heathcliffe: So what? We're still doing it without engines.

Heathcliffe: I don't like to brag, but did you know I'm descended from the yellow-tailed gulp?
Gertrude: A yellow-tailed gulp? What's that?
Heathcliffe: A yellow-tailed swallow, only noisier.

Heathcliffe: I hear Willie the Owl is going into the publishing business.
Gertrude: Really? What book is he publishing?
Heathcliffe: Who's Who.

(Heathcliffe and Gertrude are flying along when all of the sudden an airplane goes whizzing by.)
Gertrude: Good heavens, Heathie! Did you see how fast that bird was going?
Heathcliffe: So what? If your tail was on fire, you'd be going fast, too.

Gertrude: Everyone says that for a bird like me to lay a six-pound egg is truly amazing.
Heathcliffe: What's so remarkable? What else would you do with it?

Gertrude: Heathcliffe, when we get married, I am going to keep it a secret.
Heathcliffe: But Gertrude, supposing you had children?
Gertrude: Well, I guess it's all right to tell them.

The Red Skelton Character Quiz
(Ask the participants to name the Red Skelton character. Use the PICTURES as a reminder.)