Bert Davis here, bringing you this month's travel destination for the Front Porch gang. It was my turn to choose from the travel wish list and, let me tell you, I have a real humdinger. I was a huge fan of the television show Route 66 (popular in the early 60s) and often dreamt of jumping into a Corvette and driving from one adventure to the other on this famed highway. Did you ever watch the show? If so, maybe you can identify with my fantasy. Since six can't fit into a Corvette, I've opted to rent an RV (recreational vehicle) and take my fellow travelers on a "road trip" down Route 66.

Preparations for Your "Trip"

This activity is written in a conversational style and can be presented as a story/discussion or as a skit performed by staff and/or residents. Ask for volunteers (residents or staff) to read the parts of the Front Porch Travelers - Nell and Truman McGiver, Bert and Ethel Davis and the Gunderson sisters, Mabel and Maude. Click HERE for a large-print copy to present as a skit.

Front Porch Travelers - "Getting Our Kicks" on Route 66

Bert Gets Behind the Wheel

Before we start, will you sing (or talk) along with me to the song that helped make this stretch of road so famous?

"Get Your Kicks On Route 66"
~ by Bobby Troupe

If you ever plan to motor west
Travel my way, take the highway that's the best
Get your kicks on Route 66.
It winds from Chicago to L. A.
More than 2,000 miles all the way
Get your kicks on Route 66.
You go through St. Louie, Joplin, Missouri
And Oklahoma City looks mighty pretty.
You'll see Amarillo, Gallup, New Mexico
Flagstaff, Arizona, don't forget Winona
Kingman, Barstow, San Bernardino.
Won't you get hip to this timely tip
When you make that California trip
Get your kicks on Route 66.

Have you ever vacationed in an RV? If you haven't, you sure are missing something! Nell and Truman have a running joke that their retirement plan is to sell their house and buy an RV. Then they're going to travel between the homes of their two sons and camp out in their driveways. Actually, I'm not so sure Brian and Joe find this "plan" as amusing as their parents do.

After many calls, I was able to find the perfect RV to rent. It sleeps six comfortably and has all of the amenities, so it's almost like traveling in your own home. I had a little extra surprise in mind for my fellow travelers, but I'll get to that in a bit. Truman and I mapped out the route starting in Springfield, Missouri and ending up in Arcadia, Oklahoma, in great detail. In order to plan a trip following the old Route 66 you need to read books about the subject and pour over maps. It is easy to take a wrong turn but, then again, the adventure most often is in the journey - not the destination!

The RV I reserved was waiting for us in Springfield, Missouri, about 40 minutes away from our hometown, Eudora. We all piled into the minivan that I borrowed from my daughter to take us there. You would not believe all of her instructions and warnings - you'd think I was a teenager just learning to drive and she was my mother. Have any of you noticed that, at this time in life, your children start to act like they are your parents? I don't like it, I can tell you that! Anyhow, back to the story - the reenactment of the television show Route 66, with me playing the role of tall, dark and handsome George Maharis and Truman being the "boy next door" Martin Milner. The ladies, we decided, would be written into the script as we went along.

Before we get too far down the road, let me share with you some interesting facts about Route 66, the highway also known as the "Mother Road."

Our first adventure of the trip started about 30 miles outside our hometown of Eudora, Missouri. I had noticed that Bert was being very secretive about packing the car and insisted on doing all the work himself. Now that's not like my Bert, so I should have started asking questions right then and there. We were traveling merrily along with the music blasting as we sang to our favorite show tunes stored on Truman's iPod. His grandchildren gave it to him last Christmas so he could stay up with the times. Although we aren't great at carrying a tune, what we lack in talent we make up for in volume. All of a sudden, we heard a mournful howl from the back of the vehicle where the luggage was stored. "My goodness," I said, "that sounds just like Elvis." Elvis, our three-year-old basset hound, was supposed to be safely boarded at the Doggy Delight Kennel. One look at the sheepish expression on Bert's face confirmed my worst fears. "Bert Davis, please tell me you didn't bring Elvis on this trip!" I yelled. "Well darling, I wish I could but that would be a lie and I haven't lied to you once in all these years of marriage." (Like that was going to earn him points now!)

Bert had lobbied long and hard to be able to include Elvis in the list of passengers for this trip. The rest of us understandably refused, but it seems Bert elected to ignore our decision. When asked why, he stated his reason as, "I just couldn't bring myself to abandon him, he was so sad about being left behind." Bert does have an uncommon attachment to this dog. I must admit I am very fond of him as well, but I can't believe he would do such a foolish thing. Being as we were on such a tight schedule and within minutes of reaching the place where we would pick up the RV, we had no choice but to proceed with Elvis. Bert assured us that dogs were allowed everywhere we were going and that Elvis would be no trouble whatsoever. Elvis just wagged his tail and "woofed" his agreement.

If you have ever traveled in an RV (none of us had), then you would know that this was clearly one of Bert's better ideas. (Bringing Elvis was not!) Our living accommodations were surprisingly comfortable. There was a bedroom in the back, with an actual door, that was assigned to Bert and me on account of Elvis and his nocturnal disturbances (the nature of which you do not want me to go into). Maude and Mabel had bunk beds on one side with a curtain for privacy and Nell and Truman had a comfy queen size bed that doubled as our dining room table and seats during the day. With all of the "sawing of wood" from our group at night (Elvis included), it's a wonder we didn't tip over with the amount of noise we made.

The galley kitchen was compact but well equipped. We were actually able to cook some decent meals with the two-burner stove and teeny tiny oven. Thank goodness for the microwave - how did we ever manage before it was invented, that's what I want to know! There were two captain's chairs in the front for the driver and first mate. It wasn't very long before Elvis decided the passenger seat was where he belonged, with his head stuck out the window and his ears flapping in the wind. Fortunately for the rest of us, there were plenty of seats with big windows all around. Each of us had a clear view of the many wonderful sights passing by.

First Stop - Truman

Our home state of Missouri, also known as the "Show Me" state, has a beautiful stretch of Route 66 that takes you from St. Louis to Joplin. We started in Springfield so we didn't have to go far before we were in Kansas. We passed through the towns of Halltown, Carthage and Joplin. Along the way we saw some of the most "bucolic, verdant and scenic sections of Route 66," or so it says in the brochure we were reading. Our first stop was at the 1931 Bridge on the Meramec River, which is located at the entrance to the Route 66 State Park. This 419-acre park was formerly the site of the town of Times Beach and is a shining example of how nature can heal itself. It's an interesting story if you haven't already heard it. In December 1982, when the Meramec River flooded Times Beach, it forced the 2,000 people who lived there to evacuate their small homes and trailers. These very same residents had voted just two years earlier to withdraw from the national flood insurance program. The flood waters brought with them trace amounts of the chemical dioxin that was in the oil that public works employees used back in the early 1970s to spray the dirt roads to control dust.

After the waters receded - and all of us Front Porchers remember this well - the EPA dressed technicians up in moon suits and sent them about sampling the soil. There soon followed the ominous statement that the little community of Times Beach was polluted with deadly dioxin. Do you remember hearing about it? Let me tell you, mass hysteria ensued in our part of the world. Never mind that the town residents had lived with the dioxin on their roads for the past 10 years or so and had suffered no ill effects. EPA came to the rescue with a 33 million dollar buy out solution - the town was abandoned, the houses destroyed, the residents relocated and every inch of contaminated soil was incinerated. It took 14 years and hundreds of millions of dollars, but eventually the land was declared safe and put up for sale. Of course, no one wanted to live there, despite assurances it was safe to do so. It eventually was made into the state park it is today. The park is unique in that it is lined with the deserted streets from its past. Only in America, my dear friends, only in America.

We decided to make a quick stop to stretch our legs and take a picture under the first historic Route 66 marker, now relocated to the park. We found a lovely couple from Winnipeg, Canada who agreed to take our picture. Just as we were getting reading to say "cheese," Elvis shot off after a squirrel. Bert and Ethel had never seen him get up enough energy to run so fast. No amount of yelling could bring him back. The squirrel, realizing its advantage, was taunting Elvis by dashing from tree to tree. We all ran after him, including the couple from Canada. Elvis didn't stop until he saw the Meramec River and, deciding he needed to cool off, jumped into the water. Bert had to wade in after him and pick up 45 pounds of wet, muddy dog. No one said anything to Bert. No one needed to. He was quite subdued for the next leg of the journey. Elvis, on the other hand, was very pleased with himself. Unfortunately, before too long the entire RV smelled just like him - wet dog.

Kansas, Here We Come! - Nell

Our next stop was in Joplin, Missouri for lunch. Then we headed to Kansas, a state with many nicknames, including the Sunflower State, the Grasshopper State and the Cyclone State. We passed a ramshackle diner with a big sign out front declaring its name to be Nell's Big Boys. How could we resist? We piled out of the van (along with Elvis) and converged upon the front door. There were several trucks parked out front, one with a hunting dog tied up in the back. The two dogs started barking at each other and neither was planning to be the first to stop. The diner looked like the kind of place that wouldn't mind a dog, so we took Elvis inside with us just to keep him quiet.

It took a while for our eyes to adjust and then we wished they hadn't. The walls were covered with artwork of questionable taste and the floor was littered with peanut shells. The massive bar took up most of the room, but there were a few tables against the wall. The jukebox was blasting out a Waylon Jennings song. The occupants gathered around the bar looked like they were straight out of a Harley Davidson ad.

In fact, as we were all busy staring at each other, the front door banged open and another group of bikers arrived. We quickly got past our initial reservations and soon settled in for a fine time. We were royally entertained with hilarious stories (some that made Mabel blush), lively music and the specialty of the house, a 16-ounce Angus beef burger smothered in cheese, bacon, onions, pickles and secret sauce. (We never did find out what was in the secret sauce, though we tried.) "How could one person eat all that?" you might ask. Well, Bert and Truman were far away from home and the watchful eyes of their internists, so they said, "What the heck!" and enjoyed every last mouthful (along with french fries with gravy and cole slaw). We women were more practical - we had two burgers for the four of us. Elvis made the rounds begging for food and, at one point, I thought I saw him drinking beer. By the time we left, some two hours later, we were full of food, fun and the joy of making new friends. Elvis had to be carried out to what we were now fondly calling the "Bert Bus." We never did meet Nell but we sure liked her establishment.

We drove through Galena, Kansas and stopped at the museum of local history, which is in an old railroad depot. There was lots of good information there about sights to see and places to visit in Kansas. We headed back down the road to Riverton, the home of the Eisler Brothers General Store. This store was already around when Route 66 became the official cross-country highway from Chicago to Los Angeles. We were able to leave Elvis snoring contentedly in the bus, so we had lots of time to shop.

We were enthralled with the best Route 66 memorabilia we've ever seen anywhere, along with gifts, produce, flowers and an old-time deli (which we could not appreciate still being quite full from our "Big Boys"). Before we knew it, it was time to call it a day, so we found a nice trailer camp and settled down for a good night's sleep.

On to Oklahoma - by Maude

We slept surprisingly well, though I wouldn't recommend six people in an RV unless you are family - or the best of friends like us. After swearing just yesterday we would never eat again, we discovered we were ravenous. We cooked a hearty breakfast of eggs, sausage, biscuits and honey and then felt ready to take on the world - or at least Oklahoma. Amazingly, Elvis was behaving himself, so things were looking good. Our first stop in Oklahoma was Chelsea. The temperature was surprisingly comfortable, so we decided to take a walk through town. We discovered that Chelsea was the site of Oklahoma's first oil well back in 1889 and that the parents of Will Rogers are buried in the Chelsea cemetery. We walked by the Hogue House, which is on the historical register and the only known Sears Roebuck-constructed home west of the Mississippi. We meandered back to where we had parked and hopped on for the hour ride to Tulsa. Once there, we decided to make a day of it, so we found a doggy day care that would take Elvis. Bert took one look at Elvis' sad eyes and told the girl behind the counter to sign him up for "the works."

Tulsa is the second largest city in Oklahoma and there was a lot for us to see and do. We visited the aquarium, the zoo, had a delicious lunch in an outdoor café and toured the world-renowned Gilcrease Museum. When our feet needed a rest, we went to the public library, where we found some comfortable chairs and spent a half hour reading and relaxing. Bert promptly fell asleep and we had to wake him up when he started snoring. Ethel said that sharing a bed with Elvis was keeping Bert awake at night. Elvis, it seems, has an unfortunate problem with "emission control" (major gas attacks) and is an active dreamer with lots of leg kicking, twitching and moaning. Ethel noted that there were certain similarities in the sleeping habits of Elvis and Bert, so she was prepared with her earplugs, eye mask and scented pillow.

We resumed our walk through the city, admiring the Art Deco architecture and ended up at an amusement park where we enjoyed watching the children and their parents having fun. It brought back such happy memories from our days as young parents. By this time, we were pooped and it was time to pick up Elvis at his day care. (It seems we still have a child to care for after all.)

Mabel Takes Us Home

When we returned to the lovely campground where we had left the bus, we were too tired to get dressed and go out for dinner. We decided to heat up some beans and franks and call it an early night. Bert gave Elvis his leftovers before he realized what a big mistake that was going to be. The next day we drove to Arcadia, Oklahoma so we could take a picture of the Round Barn, which is an important Route 66 icon. Not only did we tour the barn, but we also got to be part of their Fire Fighters Parade. Elvis proudly took the lead with his stylish bandanna and painted toenails - part of "the works" he had gotten at the doggy daycare. The rest of us straggled behind, trying to keep in time with the marching band's rendition of Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond. After that, we went to the county fair and played arcade games, took turns on the rides (somebody had to keep Elvis company) and met so many wonderful people we lost all track of time. We didn't realize how late it was until someone kindly informed us that our dog was sound asleep and people were having a hard time navigating around him. Elvis is a sight to see when he is sleeping - he lies on his back with all four paws sticking up in the air.

The next morning we reversed ourselves and headed back home up Route 66. We agreed that this was one of our best trips ever. Even though we didn't travel far, we thoroughly enjoyed sampling the simple pleasures of our country. America is at its best with its friendly people, beautiful scenery and the freedom to enjoy it all. Road trips like the one we took are spontaneous - we could stop where we wanted to, even if only just to stretch our legs, pet some cows or pick wildflowers. This proved to be true in Kellyville, Oklahoma. We unexpectedly had to evacuate the RV for about a half an hour when the beans Bert had foolishly given Elvis the previous evening (and the ones he managed to confiscate from the garbage that morning) backfired - literally. On road trips, you eat whenever you get hungry, wherever you want. You can sleep late in the morning or get up at the crack of dawn. You can ride in the RV all day in your pajamas, play cards and sing songs at the top of your lungs. Best of all, at least for us, you get to be with your dearest friends in the entire world ... and a floppy-eared basset hound named Elvis.

On the way home, we came to the conclusion that the world's leaders should all be packed into one huge RV and driven from country to country, without being allowed out of the vehicle, until they arrived at a plan for lasting peace. We're betting it wouldn't take them very long - especially if they had Elvis with them.

See you next month!

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